Reframing negative thoughts examples

The act of stopping negative thoughts is a pretty effortful feat in and of itself; just being mindful and conscious of our thinking takes attention and patience. So then figuring out how to reframe the negative thoughts we stop can be flustering beings as negative thinking is weirdly more natural and our go to over positive thinking. I’m going to give some examples of negative thoughts I reframe(d) before this became a habit and subconscious effort for me in my day to day thinking process. I feel like I may have left people hanging a bit with my lack of actually portraying WHAT reframing a negative thought to a positive/worthwhile idea/thought LOOKS/SOUNDS LIKE so I’m here to remedy that oopsie!

I also came across some great on point and worthwhile affirmations from another blogger writing at that I’ll share at the end. Or better yet find them here on their Daily Dose of Affirmation blog post I found them on by clicking the aforementioned title ;)! I’ve never been a big fan of affirmations and found them kinda corny because the ones I found in my search for some more in depth ideas were pretty basic and lacked something for me. A few days ago I stumbled upon these nuggets of wisdom that hit home for me and realized that is what it takes in most worthwhile things in our lives is us finding the right fit for ourselves and our lives. If we can find that within nearly any positive thing to do then we can find it fitting and work it into our daily lives. Sometimes that takes searching and others it takes stopping looking and when its right the fit will find you.

Back to the main topic: reframing our negative/unhelpful thoughts into positive/worthwhile ones examples: it’s easy to start noticing these types of thoughts by paying attention to the words that often go along with our negative thinking: can’t, don’t, not, won’t, never, always, shoulda/woulda/coulda (or ‘ve if you’re more proper and grammatically correct in your thinking verbiage lolol which I often am so shhh don’t judge me!), profanity often indicates negative thinking also, and of course there are more but these are some to definitely listen for and when a thought comes through with one of these STOP words do just that STOP THAT THOUGHT!!

  • I can’t ….
    I can accomplish anything I put my mind to. If I am overwhelmed can I break down what I’m fretting over into smaller parts to get to the bigger goal?
    I have overcame/done something harder/similar to this before and while it seemed daunting at first, like this, I was able to work through/do what it was that at first I thought I couldn’t. How did I go about doi that? How did I psych myself out almost that time and looking back how ridiculous does that worry seem or if warranted how great did it feel when I did it anyway?
    Is there someone I can ask for help and make this problem/project only half the difficulty? I like doing things solo most of the time or with my partner but maybe it could be enjoyable to work with someone new to get this done or talk to someone I haven’t recently to vent my issue and get a different perspective.
  • I really messed up….
    And I will mess up again but what can I learn from this mistake so I don’t make THIS mistake again? I know my heart was in the right place so where did things go sideways and were my intentions still genuine and positive?
    [this mistake] taught me… helped me realize… gave me perspective on…
    Can I fix [this mistake] or make it better? Yes? Do it then! No? Forgive myself and let it go; today is a new day with plenty of mistakes to be made or to avoid making, onward!!
  • Things just keep getting worse and I can’t handle any more bad/negative stuff but it just keeps coming!
    Time for a gratitude list for sure – 5 things I’m grateful for… (this works for most any negative thought if I can’t specifically reframe it then gratitude is the best attitude at prevailing over negative thinking! this type of thinking does specifically call for some reminders of what I have in life that is good even if at the time it is the basics like my kids’ health, life/waking up again this morning, my sanity/my brain/my intelligence/my psyche intact, my HP (higher power, TED <for me> or God <for many>), and my health/my person’s/partner’s health to name a few it breaks up the negative roll my thoughts will get on if I allow them to keep going without a conscious effort to stop them and make a chance.
    I’m no victim so what is my role in why my life is having a bit of a downturn as of late? Can’t change anything by doing the same thing and expecting different results or wallowing in self pity so what is one small change I can make to my choices/actions/attitude/etc that I can start now/today and effect some change in my circumstances possibly in doing so?
    If I get flustered or frustrated trying to reframe a negative thought or just can’t seem to pull my head out of the woe-is-me well then along with a gratitude list I can try some journaling – either writing down what I want to be or see happen or getting out some grrrrs and writing all my negative feelings/thoughts to expel them (just being careful not to dwell on them but putting pen to paper for me is sometimes as good as having another person’s ear to vent to.
  • I don’t deserve this/this is not fair…
    …then how did I get here? My punishments have far outweighed my crimes but I still committed the crimes (not literally criminal acts but whatever mistake or misdeed I did do) and in doing so I opened myself up to other people’s interference and influence over my life. Now is time for me to focus on what is within my control and how to utilize those aspects for me to succeed.
    I know my worth and how much effort I put in. I don’t need outside validation but internal acceptance and what I “deserve” in life will materialize/become and every hard time in which I make the best choices and learn the valuable lessons I wouldn’t if it weren’t for these seemingly undeserved shitshow times. I do deserve the wisdom and strength I can gain from overcoming and coming out on top of the worst situation.
  • I’m not good enough/I’m a failure at…
    I cannot fail if I do not quit; each “failure” is an effort made toward an eventual success or at the very least something to be learned from/gained knowledge/ability/wisdom/etc.
    I’m a frikkin badass! Remember how I [overcame/accomplished/did something that made me proud of myself]? And even with their dad’s poisoning them against me with lies and judgments my daughters love and adore me and if that doesn’t make clear to me my awesomeness nothing will!!
    Take a moment to look at my little man and how he looks at me like I am his personal angel/fairy godmother and I’m reminded of my worth every time!
    I love and accept myself unconditionally now after years of negative self-talk and self abuse I forgave myself and continue to if/when I make an err in judgment/choice/reaction/et al I hold no grudges against myself which had kept me bullshitting myself as well for a loooong time and constantly second guessing myself for all that time alsobut no more thanks to changing my thinking and taking bak control of my thoughts –> actions –> circumstances!
  • Stuck with a/some thought(s) that just won’t quit or you can’t seem to reframe send me a message and I will help in whatever way I can/you need
    I was scrambling around searching the world wide web for help when I was stumped and by golly ….while there is a plethora of information out there it is not all great and really really really repetitive. I figure you can search google as well as I can possibly even more thoroughly because I am definitely not claiming to be an internet search wizard. I had a counselor that was though and I’ll always wish I had kept the notes I took from him explaining how to do that…maybe I’ll look him up and ask, if so Ill be sure to share!!

Of course there are so many variations of and more specified to each of us personally negative thoughts than I could even begin to tackle but above were the most repetitive types of negative thoughts that I encountered (that I remember that is cause it has been long while since they seemed to wave the white flag and stop encroaching on my happiness!) and here are a few mantras that stuck with me along the way that can work in many different kinds of thought reframing situations and can be good to just remind us of our self worth and shut up that critique in our head once and for most often (she’ll/he’ll always be there in the back corner with a dunce hat on staying quiet so long we we stay vigilant).

My Main Mantras

Mantras to memorize (modify to your own verbage/word style to make them easier to remember and be more true to you):
Nobody’s perfect (or Pobody’s Nerfect from “the Good Place” television series)
This too shall pass/No season [no darkness] lasts forever
Time takes time (it took me so much time to get to where I am at so I cannot expect thinsg to miraculously be better overnight)
One day (or hour/minute/moment) at a time
Be here, now (live in the present, be mindful)
You can’t eat an entire alligator cow in one bite (When I heard/readthis one it said elephant but elephants are my spirit animal and I would never think to eat an elephant then again I wouldn’t likely eat an alligator because I don’t eat much meat as it is….)
Everything is temporary/This is not permanent (this not only helps remind me that as the econd mantra says: “this too shall pass” but also that even the good things in life are not constants that will be here for sure tomorrow so to appreciate everything and everyone in my life in the present)
Worry is a pointless emotion/I’ve had a lot of problems in my life and most of them never even happened (When I think back to similar situations I’ve been in in the past where I’ve had the same type of anxiety or worry pop into my brain I realize that the majority of the time the things I fretted happening never did and I wasted a lot of time and energy on the what ifs. If a situation is within my control then all I can do is make the best right choice in my course of action and if it is not then I must let go and let God [TED])
Let go and let God [TED, whatever you call your HP/Higher Power] if a situation/outcome is out of my control (which most are or at least partially are) then I’ve learned to pray (or chat with which is my kind of praying) to my HP to take my worry and then trust Him to do what is best even if that means it’s not exactly what I would’ve wanted to happen because I have also realized that I very seldomknow what is bet for me and if i had my way in a lot of situations I would not have learned so many valuable lessons that only come from dealing with the tough stuff head on.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift that’s why we call it the present. This little nugget is straight from the halls of my elementary school lolol but it hits home at the three basic truths of mindfulness and living in the now: 1) the past is just that – past, it cannot be changed, altered, corrected, etc in any way no matter how long we dwell on the could’ve/should’ve/would’ve of it! So let it be, learn from it where you can and then let it go and move forward. 2) tomorrow will be today tomorrow and then it is worth focusing on but worry over what is yet to occur and may not happen 3) today is a gift that I’ve spent too often fretting over the yesterdays and tomorrows and so now I don’t instead I practice mindfulness and being here, now.

And finally those affirmations I brought up at the beginning of this post that you can also find
> here <

I have the power to make an impact in the world.

I am a trustworthy friend who shows up.

I am grateful to wake up healthy and whole today.

I give myself the care and attention I need to thrive.

I love my body and everything it is capable of doing.

My potential is limitless.

Stay beautiful and spread joy to every person you encounter along the way!

#freebird #jesscause #skribbLes4saniT

Daily Dose of Mindfulness

So each day I try to touch base with a few different readings/meditations/reflections/thoughts from a few places that I think any and everyone can benefit from checking out and taking in. Even if not every day, on those days you need a good pick me up check out my new page >>> Daily Dose of Mindfulness <<< and see what daily goodness some of my favorite sites/books/programs have in store.

And an infograph/flowchart for a very simplified version of how to get our thoughts in order to start choosing happiness made by me:
Thanks and enjoy your day, stay beautiful and spread joy!

Choose happiness steps simplified flowchart
And start the positive thinking and also get a little introspection with a Daily Dose of Mindfulness!
Love and happiness to all you beautiful people!
Thanks for reading 🙂
Ready or not?! Let’s go!!

How Our Thoughts Be Only Ours to Master

stEP riGHT uP 2 sTep 3 with me.

I am the only person who decides if I am going to fly.

So don’t mind my mistake of thinking step 2 to this in-creation design to a life program was a multi-parter rather this step is the correct one for that aspect but I’m going to try to keep it all in one blog post since I’ve been busy with my crazy life and haven’t gotten to posting in longer than I had meant for.

sTEP 3 is putting this taking control of our thoughts idea into action. I’m not going to lie or sugarcoat it and say that this is by any means easy or a quick fix because it is not! But like anything in like the more we put in the better we get out of things I do believe and have seen work in my life. Also, my anxiety and insomnia nagged my life for the better half of it until I implemented this reprogramming of my thinking and the last handful of years since have been wonderfully free of unnecessary anxiety and I sleep soundly and wholly whenever I want to (like during the day I can nap! and if I want to sleep early I can!!!) and my life is still not easy or where I want it to be.
I say “unnecessary” anxiety because anxiety is a necessity to getting things done to an extent and without any I at least became lazy and lacked any and all motivation and I’ve found many a medication regimen that has cured me of anxiety but in turn took away any drive for life and personality that I love about myself with it. We need to have a normal workable amount of anxiety to keep us doing things that need doing just not to the point of overwhelming us and causing us to lose sleep (ie being unable to sleep due to) over. And also I am being clear on the fact that my life still has its shitshow moments or months but I can fully enjoy life while dealing with these things because that is just part of life it isn’t always going to be roses and rainbows or trust the many an addicted millionaire it wouldn’t be as wonderful as we think it would be. We need to have issues to overcome and be able to cope and find happiness within ourselves to not allow those issues to take away from. But alas I digress, which is how I do more often than not and often times comes some brilliant thoughts in doing so so bear with me, or better yet learn with me and teach me what I’m missing too, please!

So this isn’t the hardest part of getting control of my thinking but it was/is the most time-consuming and took the longest of everything else to not just grasp and put into action but then to create a habit and in turn unconsciously or subconsciously do eventually out of. I never realized how negatively I thought and how often I judged people without even realizing I was doing so more often than not until I took on this total overhaul in my thinking. James Allen drives home that everything begins with my thinking and what I allow myself to think is what I allow my life to be and thus my choice and responsibility. THAT challenged me and my lackadaisical way of attempting to overcome my anxiety up until this point in my life. And that my dad had brought this book to my attention very meaningfully having me really take it in – he’d been on me the past few years about taking responsibility for my actions and my life but this really drilled it home. No more excuses! Thank you James Allen for really making clear that I was only harming myself with them anyway!

Part A of Step 3 – Reframing Negative Thoughts

Amongst my research on human thinking and probing into my own thought processes and just day to day thinking I learned that it isn’t just me when it comes to thinking negatively being a more natural and regular way of thinking. Majority of people think more negatively than positively and for whatever reason it has become the more natural way of thinking and this isn’t even going into our judgmental natures as human beings. I doubt that it was always this way and it isn’t everyone by any means that thinks negatively over positively as a majority and what comes more naturally but nowadays it seems to be. So be understanding with yourself as we delve into changing this in this step and don’t get down on yourself if it takes a few go rounds to get this mastered. Also, it takes doing more work inward in the 4th step and beyond, for me at least and I think many will relate, to fully master thinking positive instead of negative as a majority and without consciously doing so which is how we will start by purposefully reframing our thinking.

James Allen

It goes like this I wake up in the morning and within my waking moments I have an overwhelming amount of thoughts I came to find out, I don’t so much anymore but sometimes I forget to slow them down and at least now they’re mostly positive versus befores onslaught of negativity as soon as I would arise. And it isn’t just big ideas or negative self talk but little things like “my feet hurt” or “my guy didn’t kiss me goodbye before he left for work” [which usually after getting flustered over this thought I’d eventually find out he did but I didn’t fully wake up to remember him doing so so it was a really pointless negative thought and path I’d grumble down frequently] and often things we worry about flood during the first waking moments to start are days off on a very frustrating foot and then it just would seem to pile on as the day progressed. In reality it did because negative thinking attracts more negative thinking and negative thoughts turn into negative actions and attitudes and that does not invite for positivity around me as I embark on the day, quite the opposite. By lunchtime I’ve started to build up a resentment against my man who come to find out had actually kissed and hugged my half awake self AGAIN that morning! Just that thought every morning for about two weeks I had to stop and reframe consciously and I may be giving myself too much credit that one has crept back around from time to time too and I have to overcome it again but that is where this starts. For me the first time working on reframing my thoughts I took a good two months of starting and forgetting and starting again until I finally started creating a habit of doing so and then a few months of still consciously reminding myself often but then subconsciously starting to really see a difference in my thinking becoming more positive out the gate and negative thoughts seeming to reframe themselves when they’d start to crop in. I still have times when I backslide but every time it is just that much easier and faster to get back to the habit and not having to consciously stop and reframe my negative thoughts because I don’t let them get as overwhelming as they used to be in frequency or amount but also because I prefer this way of living with a positive mindset and getting to choose to be happy no matter what.

It is pretty simple of an idea and putting it into practice just takes desire and discipline and not getting down on yourself when you forget to or back slide into negative thinking instead just starting at that point that you realize what you’re doing and stop that next negative thought. I mean literally consciously STOP the first negative thought that comes into your brain big or small doesn’t matter STOP THAT THOUGHT. Maybe you’re thinking as I often did “this isn’t going to work” so lets take that one and while you are stopping this thought focus just on it and weirdly those pestering incessant thoughts can’t get in until you lose focus so now take this negative thought and reframe it into something positive: “giving this idea a try definitely can’t hurt me and even if it isn’t some big life changer I could benefit from thinking more positively” or simply “let’s give something new a try!” However you see this thought being flipped on its head will make sense in your life reword/rework it to fit and then let it go. Now as you do this you’ll notice that that positive thought you reworked it into is followed by more positive thoughts and ideas but at first there often will follow more pessimism or negative refractory thinking. As often as you can each thought you can stop and reframe do so and the next one after that. It sounds tedious and it can be but this will pay off and the more often you practice like anything else in life the better and easier and more second nature it will become.
So that is what we do with the basic negative thinking and thoughts that we have on our day to days but even more impacting and difficult to annihilate from our way of thinking is judgmental thinking. . .

Part B of Step 3 – Taking on Judgmental Thinking

So I’m going against what I’d thought to do earlier and going to post this so its not overwhelming and just start working on consciously reframing your thinking and next post we will tackle reframing judgmental thoughts and tackling the more introspective aspect of judgmental thinking.

"Some people want material things; I just want peace, happy times, and people who love me." VW Bug with luggage on top of it and a dreamcatcher in the background.

Like me this idea is a work in progress and I would love to hear any of your ideas or critiques! Have a stellar day and help me spread positivity one kind act at a time, please and thanks a million!!

"Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom. It is the result of long and patient effort in self-control." James Allen
Thank you Mr. James Allen