Love and let live.

We only have control over ourselves, our thoughts, feelings, actions and reactions. What anyone thinks, feels, says about me is none of my business or my issue. People hurt people because they’re hurting. You could slap me in the face today and I will smile and tell you to have a good day.

Everyone is going through their own shit that we know little/nothing about. Try to remember that when a person hurts/attacks/is rude to you, that’s their issue don’t take it to heart.

However if you’re called an asshole once a day, it’s not you, if you’re being called an asshole multiple times a day it’s you that’s the asshole. No not always but I think you get it.

Strive to be better than yesterday even just the tiniest bit and you’ll be amazed how your life will change.

Be patient with yourself it doesn’t happen overnight or without action and being honest with yourself. And by no means am I trying to say it’s easy but it’s definitely worth the effort, uncomfortableness, and willingness.

Be kind and love all the assholes anyway- you don’t know their story it’s not always your business to anyway and doesn’t matter- do what only you can do and control : be kind, love em anyways, let God take care of the rest!

I hope everyone has a stellar day and helps the healing by just doing others simple kindnesses.

One piece of advice: DON’T WATCH THE NEWS. “They” choose what to show/manipulate us with through the media and this continues to divide us. We need the police – BOYCOTT AND DEFUND THE MEDIA!!

Blindsided

Survival of the fittest or most duplicitous? I’ve heard it asked : What’s the point of having it all if you’ve got no one to share it with , but I wonder if those who truly have it all could trust those around them to be unmotivated by what they have anyway. I thought I would rather spend my life with my children and worry less or naught about having things. Turns out, though, when people can’t take things they take what matters most to me anyway. And even when they’ve taken all meaning from my life and I’m trying to rise above and keep enjoying life somehow, they keep taking. It’s always the people I think I can trust the most it seems. I naively believe they want the best for me (like they often even have the lying capacity to say even while turning the knife they’ve stabbed in my back that I haven’t realized is even there yet) and with me. Yet once again I trusted and believed just to be let down completely caught off guard and made to look unfit and unprepared and then betrayed beyond my wildest of fears. Since that fateful day they’ve also refused to acknowledge me or allow me to see my two favorite most precious babygirls – who are no longer babies but always will be my babies! and go about life pretending I don’t exist and/or am worthless and justify their unlawful withholding of my children from me whilst poisoning my daughters to look down on and disrespect me. Couldn’t leaving me high and dry when I gave birth to my son after 6 months of planning and trusting my dearest beings with you been enough punishment (for what I’ve been waiting 18 months nearly to be informed myself because there is no justification and I did nothing to bring about such a betrayal from those who claimed to be my family) just screwing up my whole world and giving my baby to her abuser and lying to her about everything when I had stupidly told her she could trust you wasn’t enough?!

But all I can do is breath deeply, calm my frustrated and hurt feels and wait for the courts to let me back in. I won’t even retaliate which so easily I could upend some people’s worlds like they did mine but I’ve learned revenge is a dish best not served because it’s fighting negativity with more negativity and I don’t enjoy negativity so I must be the bigger person and forgive and let it go and move forward. My only focus is my daughters’ happiness, best interest and having them in my life because it serves both the former aspects. Their other adults be damned, they can be their miserable selves and unhappy over there and it can no longer touch me because I will say being around so much hatred and self loathing took a real toll on my soul that I was actively avoiding spending time with them in the end to steer clear of the constant complaining and lack of integrity and honesty with themselves, each other, and everyone else too. Just give me back time with my girls cause legally you should have this entire time!!! Felonious choices that I cannot help what the courts do with if ya’ll continue to refuse to talk to me and avoid me, you don’t get to do that when you have my children, see?

Thin Blood

Oh snap!
did I disappoint you, too?
wait who are you, again?
& why should I give a damn?
oh yeah I remember… you have money
and I didn’t fall in your line
so you’re taking sides

against me but see
thats against us
me and my girls when we trust-ed
how could I not see…?
all it takes it the
not even lining up evenly, often nonsensical,
always complete bullshit!
renderings of a compulsive narcissist
without the brain cells to barely exist?!
yet here I sit because
blood is not as thick as you’d hope or expect
all it takes is
no evidence nope nothing at all
just enjoying watching me fall
so they can shame me and stand
tall wagging fingers all the while
carelessly, recklessly, completely,
misguidedly,
ruining the childhoods of the two
innocents you swore you were defending
FROM ME!!

thats the issue – but you can’t see
apparently
you all were busy trying to control
and ruin me
taking cues from the manipulative abuser
while she – both of my babies – cried out for help
and you all ignored
rewarding yourselves and
seemingly righteously feeling
turning upside down
our whole lives
based on the word of his
compulsive and maniuplative
lies and complete make beleive.

**Funny when it all comes to light
ya’all have disappeared and are nowhere to be found…
still trying to defend your mistakes and betrayal
can’t look lil ol me in the eye, your daughter, your niece, your granddaughter
and my girls whom you all openly deceived
buying the words of who turned out to be
what I told you all along – abusive, neglectful, manipulating everyone
poisoning my daughters and ya’ll against me
with lies I proved untrue and yet you
judgmental, hypocritical no-longer-our family
just enjoy keeping your ugly ass noses in the air
and when you should eat crow and apologize
you’re too pathetic to own your shit and fight fair.

Not Having Enough Time.

When we say we don’t have time to do certain things, we actually do. We just don’t place enough priority for them to be worthy of our time. Imagine having a plate of food. There’s only so much we can fit on the plate before it becomes full. To make room for a certain type […]

+-Life

Not Having Enough Time.

Time takes time.

My Bubbies @1 yo

Unveiling (Published at The Writers Club)

Life is a masked ball,a disguise for cheats.Costumes always fall,exposing concrete.Some will want no endto their masquerade,comforts play pretend,truth makes them afraid. I too was a clown,living in a lie,till I heard the sounds,of my heartbeats cry.I made my life realfacing all I knew,I then learned to feelclearing all my views. Push all masks asideunveil […]

Unveiling (Published at The Writers Club)

Check out an amazingly talented and awe inspiring blogger/writer I’m so grateful to have found (through them liking my post so even more gratitude there!) because their words grip my soul and it’s like the song about the man “Killing Me Softly With His Songs” by the Fugees which for nostalgia and the love of a good songs’ sake I’ll add the main lyrics below for you to enjoy as I am singing them in my head as I type!

Graceofthesun.com

And now going old school here’s the core lyrics from the Fugees “Killing Me Softly With His Song” ::

I heard he sang a good song, I heard he had a style
And so I came to see him, and listen for a while
And there he was, this young boy, stranger to my eyes
Strumming my pain with his fingers (one time, one time)
Singing my life with his words (two times, two times)
Killing me softly with his song
Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
I felt all flushed with fever, embarrassed by the crowd
I felt he'd found my letters and read each one out loud
I prayed that he would finish, but he just kept right on
Strumming my pain with his fingers (one time, one time)
Singing my life with his words (two times, two times)
Killing me softly with his song
Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly with his song

My Main Mantras

Mantras to memorize (modify to your own verbage/word style to make them easier to remember and be more true to you):
Nobody’s perfect (or Pobody’s Nerfect from “the Good Place” television series)
This too shall pass/No season [no darkness] lasts forever
Time takes time (it took me so much time to get to where I am at so I cannot expect thinsg to miraculously be better overnight)
One day (or hour/minute/moment) at a time
Be here, now (live in the present, be mindful)
You can’t eat an entire alligator cow in one bite (When I heard/readthis one it said elephant but elephants are my spirit animal and I would never think to eat an elephant then again I wouldn’t likely eat an alligator because I don’t eat much meat as it is….)
Everything is temporary/This is not permanent (this not only helps remind me that as the econd mantra says: “this too shall pass” but also that even the good things in life are not constants that will be here for sure tomorrow so to appreciate everything and everyone in my life in the present)
Worry is a pointless emotion/I’ve had a lot of problems in my life and most of them never even happened (When I think back to similar situations I’ve been in in the past where I’ve had the same type of anxiety or worry pop into my brain I realize that the majority of the time the things I fretted happening never did and I wasted a lot of time and energy on the what ifs. If a situation is within my control then all I can do is make the best right choice in my course of action and if it is not then I must let go and let God [TED])
Let go and let God [TED, whatever you call your HP/Higher Power] if a situation/outcome is out of my control (which most are or at least partially are) then I’ve learned to pray (or chat with which is my kind of praying) to my HP to take my worry and then trust Him to do what is best even if that means it’s not exactly what I would’ve wanted to happen because I have also realized that I very seldomknow what is bet for me and if i had my way in a lot of situations I would not have learned so many valuable lessons that only come from dealing with the tough stuff head on.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift that’s why we call it the present. This little nugget is straight from the halls of my elementary school lolol but it hits home at the three basic truths of mindfulness and living in the now: 1) the past is just that – past, it cannot be changed, altered, corrected, etc in any way no matter how long we dwell on the could’ve/should’ve/would’ve of it! So let it be, learn from it where you can and then let it go and move forward. 2) tomorrow will be today tomorrow and then it is worth focusing on but worry over what is yet to occur and may not happen 3) today is a gift that I’ve spent too often fretting over the yesterdays and tomorrows and so now I don’t instead I practice mindfulness and being here, now.

In Case You Missed It!

https://scribbles4sanity.blog/daily-dose-of-mindfulness/

I made this page with links to my favorite daily meditations and my top 2 go to blogs/sites that keep me inspired and on track. I also made it visually fun for your enjoyment and mine!! Just click on the picture or the descriptions and it’ll send you to whichever you want to check out today!!

Choose happiness and be kind, it’s free so give it freely!!

Be easy and stay beautifully you as only you can do!

The Thought Life

Also head over to one of my favorite sites Pocketmindfulness.com and check out 16 Ways to Become a Better Person Today cause per usual he is spot on with where my heads at and these are all great ways to start being the best you you can be!!